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Steve Curtin. http://www.stevecurtin.com/ |
I like to ramble, but I get lost in it. They say Dylan Thomas wrote near the end of life that "the words will not lie down." Now I know just what he meant; and friends and family feel the full force of it, too. I say a thing, or more likely, write a thing, but it isn't quite what I mean and I keep repeating it but refining what I don't like... lost in an obsession to express a meaning, but forgetting the meaning in all those words.
I repeat it again, and he looks back at me with the pained expression of acute suffering as he says for the third time, "I know; I understand."
But I know he can't, not really, because I haven't truly
said it yet. Ah, me. Hundreds of words, and only a single right one. I know I can find it, fit it together piece by shining piece, a perfectly expressed thought or feeling, fragile and beautiful like a spider's web... but not before he gives up on my rambling, kisses me goodbye and leaves for work. Leaves me exasperated and still trying one more phrase on like a girl trying on all the clothes in a friend's closet.
The truth is upon me but I generally refuse to acknowledge it, standing in the corner like Caesar's ghost. Meaning will never be perfectly expressed. No matter what I do, or how I try, those with greater mercurial powers than I have had to admit defeat before. "The words will not..."
quite... "lie down."
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Anonymous. www.commons.wikimedia.org |
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That orbed maiden with white fire laden
Whom mortals call the Moon,
Glides glimmering o'er my fleece-like floor
By the midnight breezes strewn;
And wherever the beat of her unseen feet
Which only the angels hear,
May have broken the woof of my tent's thin roof,
The stars peep behind her and peer.."
-P.B. Shelley, "The Cloud"
I was thinking of this verse when I saw the new background for
Scieppan with the moon in it, and went looking for a picture to go with it. I chose this one because it reminds me of a place I saw in Poland, Łasienki Park in Warsaw. I loved Łasienki better than anywhere else I visited; whether because of the pert, tuft-eared red squirrels, or the water birds skidding on the thin ice, or the beautiful neoclassical ruins, erected as such because it was considered so romantic during that period.
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Łasienki Park, Nov. 2011 |
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Łasienki Park, Nov. 2011 |